i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
