I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
