She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
this will be a night to untag.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
