I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
