I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
