do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
