shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
