I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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