when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
