You can't motorboat a personality
my sisters under your porch take her home
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Randomize
