Screwed.edu
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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