do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? đđ
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing âHappy Birthdayâ to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, âWhy didnât you sing along?!?â I responded, âI donât know him. I donât give a shit if he has a happy birthday.â
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