You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
