After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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