Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
