Will you blow on my dice?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
40s are totally the cure
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
