So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
