I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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