I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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