There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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