help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
