Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
