My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
