thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
