Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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