Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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