Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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