if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
