I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
