Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
