just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
