woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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