just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
