then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
