dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
