I heard we made out
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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