Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
