8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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