Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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