the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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