I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
