You were right. It hurts to walk today.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Randomize
