Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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