Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
