I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
