What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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