hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
God, I missed his penis.
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