im about as happy as oj after his trial
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
