Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
