it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
