How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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