I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
